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When Writing is Not Like Life June 9, 2010

Posted by ninapaules in Living Life, Writing Life.

Good thing my blog is titled Raw & Dangerous, because that is how I feel. Raw in spirit, and a dangerous person to talk with. Continue reading at your own risk.

If you read Sweet Lover Mine (posted last week), you met a mini form of “me,” a woman out of control of her life, seeking a single place to be queen, or at least someplace where she can know what’s coming next. So, she sits down to write.

When I write, I always know what’s coming next. Even if that Next Thing is not good, I know when That Good Thing my characters so desperately need, is coming. And it always comes. This is what puts my butt in the writing chair; my driving need to love and rescue my heroes and heroines.

But in life, knowing what’s coming next is not part of the equation. Of course, I used to think otherwise, until Life felled me like the hollow tree I was. Twice.

Now, I know I don’t know. I wish I could claim comfort in knowing at least that much. But, truth is, I would find more comfort in a bi-weekly paycheck that could disappear at any second (which has happened to me three times in the last seven years) than knowing I am not in control.

People of my Faith are quick to quote, “I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you.” (Jeremiah 29:11) Today, I boldly (and unapologetically) hand back this thought; nowhere does the Bible say those plans of hope and prosperity, which I do believe in, are for this life. In the grand scheme of eternity, that’s okay. But today…

This is why I write. I know the ending, and I know it will be good, and my characters will have what they need and be healed, and live happily ever after. Because I wrote it that way.

There is comfort in that.

I thank God I can write.

What’s on your heart, today?



1. Jaimie Hall Bruzenak - June 10, 2010

Would you really want to be able to see your whole life before you and know the obstacles and the ending? What fun would that be? For me, it’s the suspense and the achieving of goals that has satisfaction. Knowing that something is “for sure” would take a lot of the fun out of it.

Those times that seem like bad times often shape us, make us who we are plus open up other doors we weren’t headed for if things had stayed the same. Your broken ankle has been a bummer, but also given you more time to write. You’ve gotten creative in earning income. I admire you for that!

Isn’t it nice, though, to have something you can control? 🙂


2. ninapaules - June 10, 2010

You are right, Jaimie, it’d be no fun to see my whole life before me. The obstacles and the ending would scare me to death because I wouldn’t be properly prepared, and I would undoutebly mock the good parts because each would seem impossible.

Having “the rug” yanked out from beneath me so many times in recent years has left me particularly jaded, I think. At the same time, the experiences have shaped me, as you say. Life has never been what I thought it was. Faith is not what I’ve been taught to believe. The world as I know it is not as many think it is. None of this is good or bad. But, for the first time in my life, I seek to know, no matter what others may think of what I discover.

Writing has made the value of my endeavor particularly clear. Playing “god”, walking with my characters while seeing the story in its entirety, has proven how utterly myopic my view of life and history and God is. Without doubt, myopic is easier by far, which is why I chose such a narrow path. But ignoring truth, evidence, lies, history, possibilities that make no sense, does not make them go away, or any less powerful.

So, I seek to know, even when knowing there is precious little security to be had in this world is the truth that I find. 🙂

Thank you for your thoughs, Jaimie. They are greatly appreciated.


3. Jaimie Hall Bruzenak - June 10, 2010

We all do know the ending, though maybe not the details. 🙂

In my experience, we have a fairy tale concept of life; if we do everything “right” we’ll have a happy ending. As we gain maturity, we realize we are not in control and that doing things “right” is no guarantee.

However, as we look back, each obstacle is a learning and growth process. And, if we don’t learn, we tend to repeat. What seems like the rug being yanked out from under you is, maybe in reality, moving you closer to your true gift and dream, that of being a published (best selling) author.

Just another perspective.


4. ninapaules - June 10, 2010

Oooo, I like your perspective, Jaimie! Not only a published author,but a best selling one, too. It’s what I dream about and strive for, one way or another, every day. 🙂

5. Linda Banche - June 11, 2010

Ah Nina, I know what it feels like to be laid off. I was laid off three times in six years. And I was out for four years until I got this current job. Not that I like this job. I HATE it. But the watchword now is, stay until they throw you out.

I used to see obstacles as learning experiences, but now I’m so tired I just see them as obstacles. Maybe that’s why I write comedy. Keep going, it’s all you can do.

ninapaules - June 11, 2010

Stay until they throw you out… or your paycheck bounces. Twice. That’s what happened to me in my last job.

Keep writing romantic comedy, Linda. You’re good at it my friend.

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